So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Randomize
