At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
