I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
no you cant smoke seaweed
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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