why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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