I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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