im having a threesome with these popsicles
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize