I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
