My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize