found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
