Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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