Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
