Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
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