How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
