Just cropdusted the office
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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