I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
