not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize