Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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