Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
