So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize