If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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