Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
