We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
