my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Randomize
