I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
