mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
