Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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