Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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