it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Two words: nipple clamps
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