Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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