I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
