you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize