He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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