Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
