Swine flu. Run for my life!
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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