He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
