May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
