I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
