its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
