omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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