So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
