I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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