Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
