I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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