i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
She needs sedatives and a leash
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Randomize