how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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