I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
