Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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