I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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