problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
