I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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