His hands were made for my vagina.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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