I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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