i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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