I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
