I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
