Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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