it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
