Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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