Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
