Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
